Unpacking Betrayal: How the Body Keeps the Score

Betrayal cuts deep, leaving scars that can linger long after the wounds have seemingly healed. It’s like our bodies become a living record of the pain we’ve endured, holding onto the memories even when our minds try to forget. But why does the body keep the score? 

THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE

At the heart of it all is our magnificent nervous system, the master controller of our body’s responses to the world around us. When betrayal strikes, it sends shockwaves through this intricate network, triggering a cascade of physiological and psychological reactions.

This dysregulation isn’t just a figment of our imagination—it’s rooted in the very fabric of our nervous system. Research in the field of polyvagal theory has shed light on how our bodies respond to threat, highlighting the role of the autonomic nervous system in shaping our emotional experiences. When we experience betrayal, our nervous system goes into overdrive, preparing us for fight, flight, or shutdown—even when the danger has long passed.

But here’s where it gets fascinating. Our bodies don’t just react to betrayal in the moment—they remember it long after the event has passed. Trauma becomes etched into our very cells, triggering a range of physical symptoms that can persist for years, if not addressed.

It is, as Bessel van der Kolk said, that "the body keeps the score". It highlights the profound interplay between our minds and bodies. It’s like our bodies become the silent witnesses to our pain, holding onto the memories even when our minds try to bury them.

HOW DO I HEAL?

So, how do we begin to unravel the knots of betrayal stored within our bodies? Enter the bottom-up approach to healing, which recognizes the importance of listening to the wisdom of our bodies in the journey towards healing.

Through somatic practices, we learn to tune into the sensations that tell our stories. It’s not about reliving the past but reclaiming the present moment, one glimmer at a time. As we reconnect with our bodies, we begin to shift our nervous system out of survival, thereby rewriting the narrative of the betrayal, and transforming our pain into resilience.

In embracing this bottom-up approach to healing, we honor the truth that our bodies hold—the truth that betrayal leaves a mark far beyond what words can express. But we also discover that healing is possible, even in the face of profound pain. By listening to the whispers of our bodies, we reclaim our power and rewrite the story of betrayal, one heartbeat at a time.